Nope, I’m not an expert. In fact, I think I am FAR from it. Thomas and I are still considered “newlyweds” in my book, but I felt like sharing these key points of truth to anyone planning their wedding.
First of all, the BIGGEST piece of advice that I can give to any couple who’s in the height of wedding planning and all the anticipation that comes along with that is… the wedding day should be the last priority in your relationship. Did that shock you? Okay, hear me out. I’m NOT saying that your big day dreams are just pointless. I’m NOT saying that having the the fairytale day you’ve dreamed of is silly. I’m just saying that your MARRIAGE, your life long commitment to each other should come first.
All too often I see couples who are only invested in how much fun they’re going to have celebrating with their loved ones. And while that was one of my favorite parts about our wedding day, it shouldn’t have been the priority. Within the first six months of our marriage, Thomas and I endured some of the most shocking and devastating loss imaginable. Three people who were vital in Tee’s life were gone and we found ourselves going from celebration to heartache within a blink of an eye.
All of this to say, sometimes, when the wedding day is over, when all the planning and blood, sweat and tears cease to exist, reality slaps us in the face. HARD. Tee and I were not prepared for the grief that we endured just a few weeks after our wedding day. And maybe it’s not grief or shock for your life, maybe it will be routines, or just life’s everyday stress that puts your marriage in uneasy quicksand.
This post is not to turn people away from marriage. It’s not doom and gloom. Trust me, there’s a method to my madness. I just want people to know that marriage is hard work, but it’s work that’s worth the effort.
The most important thing to remember when planning your wedding is this; you are marrying your best friend. Period. It’s the most beautiful union designed by God from the beginning of time and it is such a gift. While yes, marriage is hard work and not always sunshine and unicorns, it is truly the best. It’s the best gift God has ever blessed me with.
Thomas truly is my best friend and partner, the one I can come to about anything, the shoulder I cry on after a long day, and the biggest cheerleader. It is so much fun doing life with your best friend. And while in our very short (almost two) years of marriage we’ve had to face life and some of it’s hardest troubles head on, we’ve been blessed to do it together.
I’m so thankful God gave us the blessing of marriage. He knew we could not do it alone. He knew that He had to create a team to work together for His good.
Here are three things to remember about your marriage:
- Life’s circumstances can be calamitous, but God remains good and faithful. Hebrews 10:23 says “let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering; for he who promised is faithful.” Seek The Lord through your troubles in life and face them together.
- No matter what may come, remember the love you felt at the end of the aisle. There will come a day where you’re frustrated or upset with each other. There will be a day where you wake up cranky and say something you don’t mean. Then that still small voice reminds you of those moments when you promised each other that no matter what may come, you’d still choose one another. That love that God put in your heart for your spouse will push through the hard days. Good will always triumph.
- The world may tell you to throw in the towel, but God reminds us of our lifelong commitment. Marriage is not for the faint of heart. Yes it’s hard work. I believe in the power of hard work. Working hard every day to love one another more than yourself is a learning curve. While the world is telling us “just worry about yourself because you are the most important” God tells us in Romans 12 to love one another and honor each other other ABOVE ourselves. Selfless wins. Every time.
I love being married to my best friend. Yes, some days are hard but when we look back at all The Lord has blessed us with, I am overflowing with gratitude and joy. The truth about marriage is that the wedding day is only the beginning. I love being able to celebrate the love and joy on those wedding days. There truly is no greater honor than being the one who documents those precious moments. It’s the joy and love on that day that are the foundation for a lifelong marriage. One that will withstand the test of time. Life’s greatest blessing is not walking through it alone!